How to Deal with Room Mate Conflicts
Room Mate Issues
Everybody looks forward to going to college…well, not the classes per se, but all the rest. Even living with friends, maybe especially living with friends because it’s your first step away form home and being under your parents’ authority….The trouble is that most of us end up having room mates and still have to learn to play nicely with others. Room mates end up being a whole lot more challenging than parents because they simply don’t love us the way a parent does. Without unconditional love, it’s much harder to co-habitate. Whether it’s dishes, cleaning, fridge space, entertaining guests, study hours, or general etiquette, we all have different expectations. Most of the time a simple, non-agressive conversation will resolve much of the tension. Here are a few pointers for making it work.
Tips for Dealing with Room Mate Issues
- Determine your issues and make a list of what you’d like to see improved.
- Before confronting anyone else, consider where you might be to blame or how they’ll react.
- Make a second list of things you’d be willing to take ownership of: for example, I’ll take out the trash if you’ll vacuum. Try to make it a fair compromise.
- Ask your room mate(s) to sit down for a chat about it. Make it a relaxed atmosphere and try not to sound angry.
- Try to set some agreed upon hours for the apartment, including but not limited to: entertaining, studying, sleeping, or cleaning. If you have boundaries here, everyone is less likely to get frustrated.
- Try white noise. Here is a free generator you can run while studying to block noise for when you need pace and quiet. You might consider a sleep aid for when you need to sleep and everyone else is still up.
Most room mate issues boil down to unmet expectations. You may feel frustrated that no one honors your time or efforts, but it’s not fair to blame them if you have;t talked about it. Try having a friendly conversation about what each of you can do to make living together a little ore enjoyable, and be willing to be proactive.







