In November of 2008, an Irish court ruled against meat factory worker Hans Kelder who got his hand caught in a ham slicer at his workplace. Of course, Kelder was suing his workplace for this incident. Of course the fact that he’d let his mind wander while chatting up a coworker was his employer’s fault. Of course he should sue. I mean, who blames hiself for an injury sustained while distracted (by his own chatty tendencies no less)?

If I were Jim Halpert, I would just stare at the video camera. Seriously?

Thankfully, the court was just and the judge was wise, calling Kelder “the author of his own misfortune.” Now, it’s not that I don’t feel for Hans- he did lose a good chunk of his hand. However, suing the company for being distracted seems a bit extreme. At some point, we have to take responsibility for our own poor choices. I tell my children that, and they are 1 and 3. Hans, it’s time you took some initiative. Since you obviously felt you had no other recourse, I will help you:

1. QUIT talking while operating heavy machinery.
2. Make a pact with fellow workers for them to ignore you if you break rule #1.
3. Invest in some ear plugs or headphones to keep you from chatting.
4. Should you find the music the aforementioned headphones stream too distracting itself, rid yourself of said implements of injury and possible death and resort to ear plugs.
5. If all else fails, find another job.

Most of us don’t slice deli meat or operate deadly heavy machinery.  But, we too might occasionally (or quite regularly) find ourselves the victim of endless workplace distractions.  Should that happen, and should you find your focus blurry or your productivity diminished, you might also need to be proactive.  I’m gonna be bold- quit blaming other people, and do what you have to stay focused.  I’ll supply a list for you cubicle dwellers, as well:

1. Limit your chat time.  Most people need a few minutes to unwind and take a break.  Drink your coffee, stretch your legs, get your gossiping in, and go back to work.
2. Set boundaries.  In a nice way, maybe let your fellow cubies know that you (and they for that matter) have a lot to get done and you don’t really want to sacrifice the weekend because you’re not getting enough done Monday-Friday.
3. Tune it out.  Use ear plugs, headphones, or white noise.  I prefer white noise because ear plugs get itchy and make my ears sore (maybe that’s just me?) and headphones are equally distracting (and a wee bit unprofessional, not to mention what they do to my hair).  White noise can be adjusted and turned off and on quite quickly without looking waxy or flattening my hair.
4. Whatever you do, don’t try to sue your company for having distractions.  Deal with them.  You are an adult.

You’re welcome.