While beautifully quaint, this Scottish building boasts of all the creaks and groans of any antiquity.

Well, I thought I’d report back on the retreat/ “weekend away.”  I knew it would be all right when there were no name tags.  In fact, the weekend away was more than good- it really was great.  We live in Scotland, so any kind of road trip is a sight to behold and the hour and a half trip south of Aberdeen (our city) to Arbroath was a lovely one.  While I remembered every snack available to man and the portable DVD player, I did of course forget the actual DVDs, a mistake my children did not appreciate at all.

Regardless, we made it to the Windmill Christian Centre and immediately enjoyed the view of the coast and the peaceful surroundings I highly recommend this facility by the way).  It is one large building with 3 or 4 stories and perfected suited for such an event.  The retreat director was thoughtful enough to put our family of 4 further away from the activity hub, but we still had 45 Uni students running up and down the stairs right outside our door, as well as across the hall to the bathroom at all hours of the night.  As I mentioned I would, I brought 2 sound machines in case we split the kids somehow.  Our goal was to cover the college kid noises, as well as the soft little coughs and sighs so typical of small children (yet still distracting to adults trying to sleep).  As it turned out, there was an en-suite bathroom (unusual for Scotland), so we put our son in a pack n play in there as he is the youngest (21 months) and the rest of us stayed in the main room.  We set up both white noise generators at opposite ends of the room, and I can testify that they worked!  Even when our daughter woke up in a coughing fit at 4am, that natural white noise (water fall) washed over my son as if he were in paradise- and indeed he was- blissfully unaware of anything other than sweet rest.  We all slept in and had a great time!

I will say how funny it was to explain to a British man what white noise is.  He was sure it was just another “American thing,” but his kid did not sleep until 8, did he?    Similarly, we had another family use our flat while we were away.  They have just arrived from the States and are still jet-lagging with their 2 small children.  The father’s comment was, “Man that noise thing really works!  My son was finally able to get some much-needed rest.”  Need I say more? (except maybe that the retreat god has been assuaged.  What a relief.”

Nothing like answering the same littany of boring questions 20 times.

I’ve never been that into retreats.  I’ll go, but I never look forward to it because it never ends up being very relaxing.  Whether you’re a college student or a career-driven adult, the weekend is something sacred, a time when you should be watching sports and sleeping in.   Instead, you sacrifice a weekend to go to a retreat because it’s going to be “so fun.”  Mm-hmm.  All the fun begins as you stick a name tag on and invite all eyes to stare at your chest (yes, I’m of the female variety).  Then, you get sub-par food at predetermined times, including a senior citizen’s early bird special at 5pm, leaving you starving at 8.  Then, you share quarters with either the friends who managed to talk you into this exciting event, or even better, with strangers you feel the compulsion to chat with to get to know (because that’s what nice people do).  At the end of the weekend, you realize you spent $100 to sleep uncomfortably and eat too many carbs.

I didn’t know it got worse.  Evidently, meeting your husband at a college retreat means that you owe the retreat god big time because somehow, without knowing how, you find yourself looking at a retreat with said husband…and your 2 kids- both under the age 0f 4.  This should go without saying, but a retreat with children isn’t really a retreat at all.  I mean, grandparents take my kids for the weekend or give us an adjoining suite, and I’m all about it.  Truly.  I would actually openly embrace a retreat as what it’s meant to be- time away from what you normally do.  However, packing up 4 of us and loading our car with sleeping bags, duvet covers (what the what?) towels, pack n plays, and car seats is only the beginning.  We are paying to leave the comfort of our 3-bedroom flat and the ease of our own routine to share a room at a retreat- and calling it “a weekend away” in a charming Scottish brogue does not atone for the fact that we are sharing a room.  All 4 of us.  If you read anything I write, you know I do not sleep with my children.  Not even in the hospital- I feed them, I love them, I grin at their sweetness, then I send them right back to the nursery because night time is for sleeping….not for listening to every coo, cry out, and bad dream.  We have 4 white noise generators for a reason- we believe in rest to the point that we invest heavily in the white noise. Praise the Lord our sound machines are portable.  I might set up all 4 in the room just for good measure.  What do you think?

Anyway, pray for us and that the retreat god will be appeased…I cannot endure this again.